This is Duane's business dilemma. He is doing well. He doesn't need to grow his practice much. He can be very selective about which new clients he takes on. However, he's not sure about how to select prospective new clients.

What should the criteria be? All the trade magazines tell him to raise the bar and only select clients who have a higher net worth. So if his best clients average about $1.5 million in net worth, he should exclude anyone with less.

But that strict dollar oriented approach doesn't work for Duane. No, it's not that he feels that he can't turn anyone away, it's that his criteria are much more personal and subjective.

"I have to like the people," says Duane. "I have to want to spend time with them."

Duane is working on some questions that will help him weed out people who may not be a good fit. They may be solid middle class families and God fearing people--they just may not be right for Duane. (I know this can make Duane sound egotistical and self-centered. But he isn't).

The first question he asks is: "Do you accept personal responsibility for managing your finances?" If you do, you live below your means in order to save money, and you keep your personal debt at a manageable level. If not, Duane won't be able to help you. He doesn't know what the next great stock pick will be. He can't help reverse years of poor judgment and dreadful financial behavior.

So Duane assumes that you understand that you are ultimately responsible for your own financial well-being, and then his second question is: "Can you manage your investment plan yourself?" Do you go online researching stocks and mutual funds, do you read the Wall Street Journal regularly? Are you the one at parties that tries to explain what the Federal Reserve does? Be honest, are you really comfortable managing your portfolio?

If yes, then go for it, you may not need Duane's support.

Duane works best with people who aren't trying to be financially sophisticated, but who realize that managing their finances is important. As Duane says, "If you have a plan and manage it, meaning you stay on course, and live below your means, it's more likely you're going to do fine. This thing we call financial planning is not rocket science."

His colleagues argue with him and say that a home owner would never try to fix the plumbing in his house, he'd hire a professional. So it should be the same thing for financial advice. You should hire someone with experience. But Duane thinks that if you're really good at plumbing, and if you have the time, the tools and the interest, (and your spouse agrees) then why not go for it? Duane's third question for potential clients is: "Do you take advice willingly?" When your doctor tells you to stay away from carbs, do you? (Or at least do you make a serious effort?) When your marriage counselor tells you to be nice to your mother-in-law, because you only have to see her once a month, do you?

If you answer yes, then Duane wants to meet you. Why? Because Duane sees his job as offering advice. He helps you manage your own financial plan. Duane tells his clients, "My job is to help manage you. With my help you could potentially make more good and fewer bad decisions over your lifetime. You'll take risks when it is appropriate and avoid them when they are inappropriate."To summarize: If a prospective client doesn't want to start subscribing to the Wall Street Journal and is open to letting someone advise them on managing their finances, then Duane wants to meet.

Duane has a final question that can only be answered with a face to face meeting. "Will we like each other? Will there be the right chemistry between us?" (OK, that's two questions.)Duane would like to invite you out for a round of golf. Now don't worry, he isn't going to ask you a lot of personal questions about your finances, nor is he going to bore you with his credentials and success stories. He just wants to tee it up for a couple of hours.For Duane, golf is the ultimate experience in which to gauge a person's character. It is not a question of how well you play. You can be a novice or a skilled amateur. Golf reveals how well you deal with stress, changing environments, and your ability to keep to your game plan when shots start going awry.

Now don't expect to see a world class golfer when Duane tees off; he holds a modest 12 handicap. It's not always fairways and greens. And if you listen closely you may even hear him mutter a few choice words under his breath as the ball hooks left. But then you'll see a big smile as he trots off into the woods. He knows it's a game and that the most important shot is the next one.Duane wants to know if you lose your cool when you can't get the ball out of a bunker. If you do, you might also be the type of person that panics when the market has a correction. And when you let your emotions drive your decisions, the results can be bad and life-altering.

Duane realizes that trust is the key to a successful relationship. And trust works both ways. Once a prospective client told him outright, "To put it bluntly, I don't know you, so I don't trust you."

Duane's answer floored him: "Not to put you down, but I don't need your business--I appreciate your business. The reason we're meeting is to see if we like each other."

Duane says "In the old model of negotiating with a prospective client, he throws up an objection and the sales guy is supposed to overcome it. For example, the client says: "We worked with a stock broker who got us this rate of return, can you beat that?"

"I don't work that way," Duane says. "I'm not a car salesman trying to turn around every objection and beat out some theoretical competitor. I may startle them and say, 'You know, maybe we just aren't a good fit.'"

Duane understands that a newly-minted advisor, just trying to build up a practice, may not be able to be so selective. However, he would argue that if you don't follow your gut when it comes to people, you'll be sorry in the long run.

"Using your gut to make long-term financial decisions is a big mistake." He argues, "You need independent analysis and thinking. However, when it comes to starting a relationship, your gut knows you best."